A Reflection on a Humbling experience- Off Campus experience

My off campus experience was a spontaneous impulse I decided to do a couple of weeks ago. At church one of our members announced that a church in Austin has a breakfast for the homeless on certain mornings. I put the idea in the back of my mind because I am not really the volunteering type. Then one Wednesday night at our weekly FCA meeting we were reading a book about God’s love. The lesson was about being a “good” Christian. Being new to my faith I did not believe in having some book telling me how I should love my Savior. I knew in my heart that He loves me and I in return live my life for Him (there is a point to this I promise). But the book we read did more then what I feared it would do. It allowed me to take a step back and reevaluate the way I lived my life. It brought up points about how many “Christians”, the book refers to them as “luke-warm Christians”, say they live their life for Christ but in no way can you see that in their everyday life. They say they would give anything for Jesus but in reality would they? Would they sell their house and give all their riches? I don’t think so. The point isn’t that everyone who considers themselves Christian should go to such lengths, but the point is that many of the actions these so called Christians do are because it is what is expected of them. They go to church on Sundays and donate money to their church because that is what society says you need to do to be a good “Christian”. This point was eventually tied into the idea of helping others. The book talked about helping people that could not help you back. It explains that instead of having a feast with family and friends, you should invite the homeless and needy, someone who would be unable to pay you back. An emphasis was made on how easy it is to help out the people in your everyday life because you can always get a chance to receive a reciprocal action when you are down on your luck. This point really struck home for me. I remember last year in Paideia, our cohort had a heated debate attempting to figure out a civic engagement project that would help serve the community. In the discussion some of the students described their past volunteering experiences and the people they encountered that were volunteering, as nothing more then a forced effort. In a sense, these people volunteered because that is what society said they needed to do to be a good person (sound familiar?). When I think about volunteering I would always second guess myself. I don’t like following the rules of society. Being labeled a good person or a good Christian does not matter to me. I considered myself a good Christian, but I never went to church before this year. I knew how I worshipped and never saw the need of having to be seen at Sunday service by other people. So when it came to volunteering, I was never the first to jump up and say “Hey, look at what I did”. So anyways, when we were going through the lesson about helping others that can not give back, I really thought long and hard about what I could do.
Just have to note that I did not feel forced to do this. I did not read the book and automatically think that for me to be a good Christian I had to help someone who could not pay me back. I just realized that society and human behavior has created us to perform tasks and to use energy in the most efficient way as possible. Biologically speaking, we will not expend energy on a source, for example food, unless we believe we will receive the energy back from that source. So I was attempting to find a “non-selfish” act.
How could I reach out to other people and not receive anything back? I do make the extra effort to help those in my everyday life, like lending an ear to a troubled friend, even when that stack of homework is piled up on my desk. But all of those actions can be paid back. Volunteering at the kitchen seemed like a viable option (it helps that in the book it talked specifically about feeding the hungry and the needy). I was still reluctant because of my feelings about volunteering and societies views. However, I decided I was not going to let that get in my way. I wanted to go help. Just like when I first decided to go to church. I learned that you get out of something everything that you put in. If you go to church but do not care, or do not live what is being taught, then society will still view you as a “good” Christian but in your heart you would know that you are not. So as for volunteering, if it is just done for show then society will think you are a good person, but in your heart you will know the truth.
I guess now I should talk about the actual experience. I headed to the kitchen in Austin early in the morning. When I got there I had no idea what to expect. I have seen soup kitchens on TV but I have never seen one in real life (I know TV exaggerates some things a wee bit). The experience overall was humbling, hence the title of the blog. I helped on preparation of the food and clean up. The people that I saw at the kitchen have lost every material possession that they had once owned but yet many of them were in good spirits. They did not seem to be consumed in self pity (I get caught up in self pity, at times when things don’t work out as planned) but instead they were just really appreciative of the food in their stomachs. I wished I could have talked to a few of them about life in general to see their views but I was busy cleaning up. The experience helped me understand what in life I should focus on. From the people at the kitchen I learned I should always keep my spirits high. Family, friends, a community that cares about you and your faith are the most important things in life. From the process of deciding to go to the kitchen I have learned how I measure success. I always work hard because that was what I was taught. I knew that hard work lead to success. I didn’t know what being successful was though. All I knew was that you should work hard to get a job. A job leads to money. When you have money you are happy thus considered successful, that is what society says. Well I learned that you should be happy with what you are given. You work hard because you want to. You help your friends because you want to. You volunteer because you want to. You worship your God because you want to. You live life because you want to. Now isn’t doing what you want the true measure of happiness? And when you are happy, you are a success. That’s what society says, right?